Blogs comeback
i didnt know copy&pasting prev blogs took so much effort. i hate my stupid old blogsite.
Monday, September 18, 2006
The boy i'm currently missing like crazy is...
Adam, my 8 yr-old nephew who wears a size 14 jeans & Small (adult size) t-shirt. I miss u my fatty pumpkin! Although you prob don't miss me as much, and would only call me to find out if ive bought you an i-pod yet, if its possible for me to buy you an x-box (are your parents abandoning you? tsk), if its true boys who dont pee before they go to sleep will realise the next day they no longer have their wee-wee (your mom is a witch i tell u), if playing the violin and not the drums makes you a sissy, if its ok to sit on your sister (who is quarter your size) because she refused to let you watch her high-school musical dvd, and asks if i can somehow convince your mandarin teacher youre brain hasn't grown 'big-enough' to learn other languages apart from english and b.m...
sighhh i miss u! u and your lil monster sisters and 2 other monster cousins and one other monster cousin in the making.
miss u all.. boohoooooo
Wake me up before you go-go
Phone rang. Once. Twice. By the third time it annoyed the shits outta me so i had no choice but to switch it off....
Big mistake.
There is a reason communication technology was invented. And i thought i was being a hell of a rebel by shutting myself out from the world.
Stupid decision.
If only.... oh if only how convenient. Excuses we give ourselves.. hiding behind self pity is just too strong a temptation to deny. I'm such a slut when it comes to denial.
It was simple. pick it up and i won't be feeling so guilty. Yes yes its not about me but i wouldn't feel like the useless friend that i am now. That i probably will always feel because of that one stupid move to cut all connections. stupid. stupid. just pure ignorence. caught up in my own world and indulging in my own misery so blind by my own built bitterness that i couldnt even sense the tear she shed while hoping that in some way i would just be there. Spiritually, emotionally doesn't matter. she needed me and i wasn't there. i choose not to be there.
Guilt sux. Guilt haunts. Guilt breaks.
I'm sorry i wans't there in that instant when you felt that even a thousand miles did not matter. You just needed to hear my voice on the other end. I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry for not being the friend i promised to be to you forever till our boobs sag and our faces wrinkle up. I'm sorry for intentionally turning away. I'm sorry for taking that one call for granted. I'm sorry for not having the guts to admit it to you. I'm sorry im sorry im sorry.
I love you in all ways a friend can love another and much much more. There is no point in me going on and on about it because no words will be able to describe how grateful that i am to have you as a friend, a companion, a bitching partner, a shoulder to cry on, a heart to hang on to, a mind to be logic upon. I may not be able to promise total attention from me or that i will never repeat such ignorance and stupidity.. but this is an apology out of realisation and pure guilt. and if this apology is accepted, i am trully blessed.
Abdul ohhh Abdul
In times when some dumb paid-presentation commercial and sounds of drunken tennagers trashing the streets becomes my loyal company, i really wish you were here. And in times when im wishing for this, i wish i could erase the horrible nights i robbed u off your sleep and polluted your peaceful thoughts. I'm sorry for the things said, i'm sorry for the things done.
But you're still here and that must mean you love me and this must mean im lucky and i am. i know i am. And so are you. Because this is it for me. i have found my reason.
This is an ode to my sayang, who has never given up on me and i know (am positive even) enjoys all the drama i add into our relationship.. anyhoooo.. I Love u ayang
Cintaku pergi
bukan untuk selama tapi pedihnya terasa
sengitnya perjuangan setia dan sangsai
biar bodoh
hingga buntu
akal hilang dalam lara
cintaku pergi
tanpa sebab
tanpa salah
sengaja batasan berdiri
kelak rindu terbawa
terujanya hati hangat kembali
cintaku pergi
hasrat berdalih sial
terbayang kelibat kesal
namun bisu, sengaja kaku
biar kekasih mati
membuka jalan untuk cintaku kembali. -n.y-
Monday, September 18, 2006
The boy i'm currently missing like crazy is...
Adam, my 8 yr-old nephew who wears a size 14 jeans & Small (adult size) t-shirt. I miss u my fatty pumpkin! Although you prob don't miss me as much, and would only call me to find out if ive bought you an i-pod yet, if its possible for me to buy you an x-box (are your parents abandoning you? tsk), if its true boys who dont pee before they go to sleep will realise the next day they no longer have their wee-wee (your mom is a witch i tell u), if playing the violin and not the drums makes you a sissy, if its ok to sit on your sister (who is quarter your size) because she refused to let you watch her high-school musical dvd, and asks if i can somehow convince your mandarin teacher youre brain hasn't grown 'big-enough' to learn other languages apart from english and b.m...
sighhh i miss u! u and your lil monster sisters and 2 other monster cousins and one other monster cousin in the making.
miss u all.. boohoooooo
Wake me up before you go-go
Phone rang. Once. Twice. By the third time it annoyed the shits outta me so i had no choice but to switch it off....
Big mistake.
There is a reason communication technology was invented. And i thought i was being a hell of a rebel by shutting myself out from the world.
Stupid decision.
If only.... oh if only how convenient. Excuses we give ourselves.. hiding behind self pity is just too strong a temptation to deny. I'm such a slut when it comes to denial.
It was simple. pick it up and i won't be feeling so guilty. Yes yes its not about me but i wouldn't feel like the useless friend that i am now. That i probably will always feel because of that one stupid move to cut all connections. stupid. stupid. just pure ignorence. caught up in my own world and indulging in my own misery so blind by my own built bitterness that i couldnt even sense the tear she shed while hoping that in some way i would just be there. Spiritually, emotionally doesn't matter. she needed me and i wasn't there. i choose not to be there.
Guilt sux. Guilt haunts. Guilt breaks.
I'm sorry i wans't there in that instant when you felt that even a thousand miles did not matter. You just needed to hear my voice on the other end. I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry for not being the friend i promised to be to you forever till our boobs sag and our faces wrinkle up. I'm sorry for intentionally turning away. I'm sorry for taking that one call for granted. I'm sorry for not having the guts to admit it to you. I'm sorry im sorry im sorry.
I love you in all ways a friend can love another and much much more. There is no point in me going on and on about it because no words will be able to describe how grateful that i am to have you as a friend, a companion, a bitching partner, a shoulder to cry on, a heart to hang on to, a mind to be logic upon. I may not be able to promise total attention from me or that i will never repeat such ignorance and stupidity.. but this is an apology out of realisation and pure guilt. and if this apology is accepted, i am trully blessed.
Abdul ohhh Abdul
In times when some dumb paid-presentation commercial and sounds of drunken tennagers trashing the streets becomes my loyal company, i really wish you were here. And in times when im wishing for this, i wish i could erase the horrible nights i robbed u off your sleep and polluted your peaceful thoughts. I'm sorry for the things said, i'm sorry for the things done.
But you're still here and that must mean you love me and this must mean im lucky and i am. i know i am. And so are you. Because this is it for me. i have found my reason.
This is an ode to my sayang, who has never given up on me and i know (am positive even) enjoys all the drama i add into our relationship.. anyhoooo.. I Love u ayang
Cintaku pergi
bukan untuk selama tapi pedihnya terasa
sengitnya perjuangan setia dan sangsai
biar bodoh
hingga buntu
akal hilang dalam lara
cintaku pergi
tanpa sebab
tanpa salah
sengaja batasan berdiri
kelak rindu terbawa
terujanya hati hangat kembali
cintaku pergi
hasrat berdalih sial
terbayang kelibat kesal
namun bisu, sengaja kaku
biar kekasih mati
membuka jalan untuk cintaku kembali. -n.y-
I miss my abdul :(
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