Boxing issues

i hate self pity

but i hate being weak even more

there's nothing i can do about it. which makes it worse.

went to brother's place who conveniently told me he got back from family's home overseas 2 weeks ago (thanx for telling me..now?!?)
told me he had few stuff packed, and shipped home. stuff he thought i should have. he thought i might like to keep for old times sake.

of course went to check them out.

you know the thing with old boxes being shipped home.. it's kinda like a bday present..you kinda know what you're getting but you're still excited anyway.

but my "present" was not expected.

opening-up those boxes was like inviting thunder storms & heavy showers.

There were pictures of course. garments which after years still clenches their smell. their favourite books and letters.

love letters.

from him to her. the 2 years he wrote to her. when they were thousands of miles apart. back in the days when express postage meant 10 days or more. he wrote to her. every single day.

i hate having to handle a whole lotta emotions at one time.

i hate crying even more.

i miss them so much. but there's nothing i can do about it.

i pray for you everyday. i think of you every second