baby blues

i'm a 27 year old wife who wishes she can have a baby without having to go through all the stretch marks, fatigues, weird cravings and emotional roller-coasters.

at my age, my nenek was married twice and after 2 miscarriages had a daughter.
at my age, my mom had 3 kids and was already praying for a pair of twins the next time round.
at my age, my sister had 3 kids and was living with 3 other siblings who might as well just be the same age as her own kids.

at 27, i'm starting to look in the mirror and wonder how awesome it would be to have my boobs growing bigger  a part of abdul and i curled-up in my belly.

the first few months of marriage was all about "oh no, we're gonna take our own sweet time and enjoy the life of a newly married couple.  do it whole night long for the next few years. babies? no way."

but then suddenly something hit me.
do i really want to wait?
i don't want to rush into things and regret it later.
but is time running out?
what is that bloody sound? who's bloody clock is ticking so loudly??

how late is too late?
went to japan recently and saw super young moms pushing their prams in groups of 3-4 looking like they can burn whoever who passes them with their hotness. apparently its the trend these days in japan where you either marry really young, make babies or go out on a wild night, make babies. whatever it is, it's simply hip for the japanese girls to have a baby and a super kawaii stroller to push around in their early 20's. but these are the japanese we're talking about. if they can live with the likes of Godzilla & Ultraman roaming around in their cities, then nothing is impossible for them.

Hollywood actresses have babies at 40 and can still manage to look like they ordered them online and got em couriered over when ready. a part from the fact that they have gazillion dollars to spend on beauty products and high-tech post-delivery treatments, i'm sure they're all descendent of super woman herself.

and because the only super power i'd like to think i possess is the ability to shop and not drop, do i really have what it takes to get knocked-up so soon?

but let's assume that i do. Then:

1) will i have time to spend my sunday afternoons of teh ice with the girls?
2) would i still have time to figure out what to wear and put on my make-up before i leave the house?
3) will my boobs REALLY grow and maintain that size after?!?
4) would i still be able to watch DVDs with abdul the whole day without having to think of anything else to do?
5) can i still whine and cry just to get things my way?
6) will i still be the baby in the family?
7) will i still be the only one to have abdul's attention?
8) will abdul & i still get to make spontaneous decisions to travel to places like india & cambodia?
9) can i make sure my child is safe at all times?
10) can i make sure my child will be happy with his/her life?

i'm 27 and still can't make any solid decisions.
figures.


*is this how a future parent behaves?