Cakap jangan tak Cakap
My brother and his wife came to visit recently, with their one-year-old monster tagging along eager to give me a havoc-filled week. Despite a couple of false promises, failed airline & accomodation bookings, my brother finally decided to cut the crap and see for himself what's so great about melbourne.
Everything.
was my answer each and everytime he asked me.. the food, the shopping, the people, the shopping, the buildings, the shopping, the nightlife, the shopping did i mention the number of cute lil boutiques they have for u to shop???
Anyways, this is not an entry to glorify melbourne or to justify what a bloody great time im having here. It is about melbourne.. but not melbourne alone.
It's about melbourne and its foreign investors.
No not the chinese bussiness men pushing through any small space they can get hold of in melbourne city's chinatown. No its not the Indonesians and the Thais who grace the streets with their street-chic styles splurging through all corners of the shops for a vintage outfit. No its not the young outspoken Indians who seem to breath, eat, drink, sleep information (they are a smart lot i tell ya!)...
But its about us. Yes us.
Malaysians.
The study hard- party harder, kami boleh bunch.
So we were walking in the city when my brother, looking like he just discovered something totally amazing turned to me and said "by, banyak melayu!"
I, in turn smiled because being the smart-ass that i am knew it was coming..heehee
anyway.. after what seemed like a minute, he got all frustrated for not being able to let pass the fact that he was in fact in a foreign country filled with malaysians wearing autum clothing.
"let it go" i said.. as i walked ahead, very aware of the fact that i might just blend right into the interestingly fast walking malaysian stained aussie crowd... leaving my brother even more lost then he already is.
The fact that melbourne city seemed like a replica of kl or rather the western version of kl (his own words) kept bugging him the whole night until he asked me "by, why don't you have that many malay friends here?"
How dare he! "Adalah!" i retaliated.
Ada. ada ke?
I went to bed extremely irritated that night. I do have malay friends. I have tons. Do friends of friends count? of course as long as you recognise their faces, its all good.
But the truth is, i dont have that many malay friends here. I have tons of malaysian friends. but malay friends? not so much..and dare i say its nothing im ashamed of.
The next day, while walking amongst the same crowd, i presented to my brother my case.
i said "the malays just dont want to be friends with me"
"loser" he said.. and hurried off ahead to catch his precious motor show. This coming from an elder brother let me remind you.. which came to his senses about an hour later when he said to me "maybe it's coz you're sombong"
Me:"no i'm not"
Bro:"they probably think you mat salleh bontot hitam" (translation: Malay trying to act like a westerner)
Me: "they're just so clique-ish"
Bro:"So click with them"
Me:"I can't"
Bro:"why not?"
Me:"They're sooo melayu"
Bro:"So you mat salleh la?"
Me:"I hate the fact that they're in a foreign country but they don't try to embrace their surroundings. We're not in KL. Deal with it. There are other nationalities around us. We should learn to be friends with everyone, if not why study overseas in the first place?"
Bro: Pause..... "Maybe they're not confident enough. Some feel that their english is not so good, so they stick only to those who they feel understand them."
Me: Pause...... walked off
I didn't know what upsetted me more. The fact that my brother called me mat salleh bontot hitam or the fact that he was right. No not the bontot hitam bit.. but the fact that some of us Malaysians tend to stick to each other because we just don't have the confidence in ourselves to try and be different.
This got me to thinking..how long is it going to take a malaysian to break free from their little comfort zone? One year of living overseas? two? three? ten?? im not suggesting that its wrong for us to hold on to our little bond that reminds us of our roots, of home but rather, we shouldnt take this for granted and ignore the other cultures surrounding us. Why be ignorent when we travel across seas to learn about other worlds apart from ours?
I am not trying to be hollier than thou, and if i may seem like it than maybe its a good thing. Coz we all know us Malaysians react best when we're being prejudiced. When it hurts, it works.
A friend i just met in my first class this semester is a first year student. Never studied overseas her whole life. Fresh grad from a local Malaysian uni. What does she do the first thing she sees me? asks if i am from Malaysia and sighs a breath of relief when i said i was. She looked like she had just met her guardian angel.
I am not an angel. Far from it.
Throughout the lecture she kept on looking at me and spoke in malay, complaining how she couldnt understand and she didnt know how she was going to make it through the year, what more complete her masters by next year. I kept silent most of time (partly because i noticed how annoyed the lecturer looked when she caught people whispering while she was talking. NB: Do not piss off lecturer if want thesis to be passed this sem)
Finally, when she said "awak, kita tak boleh la cakap english. Kita taknak la"
"Boleh. Lama-lama biasa la tuh. Bila you selalu cakap, nanti you'll get used to it."
She smiled and kept silent the whole lecture onwards. I hope i did not offend her. It wasn't my intention to be rude. I had meant what i said. and i hope she will remember it.
I walked home somewhat reliefed. Not because i got her off my back. she was a very pleasent girl and extremely friendly. But i was glad that instead of brushing her off as one of the melayus, i honestly wanted to be friends with her. I can help remind her that its never wrong to say how and what you feel even if others might not fully understand you. Especially in the academic institution here, where students are encouraged to speak-up and learn. A great man in my life once told me if you don't ask because you think its stupid, then you'll never know if it really is. And perhaps.. if she doesn't mind, she can be an additional member to the weak bond i have here which reminds me of where i am from, who i am.. of home.
Maybe its in our nature, our culture, the way we were brought up that teaches us silence is golden.. diam-diam berisi.. but sometimes, its important for us to let our voice be heard. After all, we are here not to just simply learn from others, but also to let others learn from us. We are the youths of Malaysia, we represent her and her progress is embodied within our attitudes and presentation to others... cliche but im just itching to say it... Malaysia Boleh!
Everything.
was my answer each and everytime he asked me.. the food, the shopping, the people, the shopping, the buildings, the shopping, the nightlife, the shopping did i mention the number of cute lil boutiques they have for u to shop???
Anyways, this is not an entry to glorify melbourne or to justify what a bloody great time im having here. It is about melbourne.. but not melbourne alone.
It's about melbourne and its foreign investors.
No not the chinese bussiness men pushing through any small space they can get hold of in melbourne city's chinatown. No its not the Indonesians and the Thais who grace the streets with their street-chic styles splurging through all corners of the shops for a vintage outfit. No its not the young outspoken Indians who seem to breath, eat, drink, sleep information (they are a smart lot i tell ya!)...
But its about us. Yes us.
Malaysians.
The study hard- party harder, kami boleh bunch.
So we were walking in the city when my brother, looking like he just discovered something totally amazing turned to me and said "by, banyak melayu!"
I, in turn smiled because being the smart-ass that i am knew it was coming..heehee
anyway.. after what seemed like a minute, he got all frustrated for not being able to let pass the fact that he was in fact in a foreign country filled with malaysians wearing autum clothing.
"let it go" i said.. as i walked ahead, very aware of the fact that i might just blend right into the interestingly fast walking malaysian stained aussie crowd... leaving my brother even more lost then he already is.
The fact that melbourne city seemed like a replica of kl or rather the western version of kl (his own words) kept bugging him the whole night until he asked me "by, why don't you have that many malay friends here?"
How dare he! "Adalah!" i retaliated.
Ada. ada ke?
I went to bed extremely irritated that night. I do have malay friends. I have tons. Do friends of friends count? of course as long as you recognise their faces, its all good.
But the truth is, i dont have that many malay friends here. I have tons of malaysian friends. but malay friends? not so much..and dare i say its nothing im ashamed of.
The next day, while walking amongst the same crowd, i presented to my brother my case.
i said "the malays just dont want to be friends with me"
"loser" he said.. and hurried off ahead to catch his precious motor show. This coming from an elder brother let me remind you.. which came to his senses about an hour later when he said to me "maybe it's coz you're sombong"
Me:"no i'm not"
Bro:"they probably think you mat salleh bontot hitam" (translation: Malay trying to act like a westerner)
Me: "they're just so clique-ish"
Bro:"So click with them"
Me:"I can't"
Bro:"why not?"
Me:"They're sooo melayu"
Bro:"So you mat salleh la?"
Me:"I hate the fact that they're in a foreign country but they don't try to embrace their surroundings. We're not in KL. Deal with it. There are other nationalities around us. We should learn to be friends with everyone, if not why study overseas in the first place?"
Bro: Pause..... "Maybe they're not confident enough. Some feel that their english is not so good, so they stick only to those who they feel understand them."
Me: Pause...... walked off
I didn't know what upsetted me more. The fact that my brother called me mat salleh bontot hitam or the fact that he was right. No not the bontot hitam bit.. but the fact that some of us Malaysians tend to stick to each other because we just don't have the confidence in ourselves to try and be different.
This got me to thinking..how long is it going to take a malaysian to break free from their little comfort zone? One year of living overseas? two? three? ten?? im not suggesting that its wrong for us to hold on to our little bond that reminds us of our roots, of home but rather, we shouldnt take this for granted and ignore the other cultures surrounding us. Why be ignorent when we travel across seas to learn about other worlds apart from ours?
I am not trying to be hollier than thou, and if i may seem like it than maybe its a good thing. Coz we all know us Malaysians react best when we're being prejudiced. When it hurts, it works.
A friend i just met in my first class this semester is a first year student. Never studied overseas her whole life. Fresh grad from a local Malaysian uni. What does she do the first thing she sees me? asks if i am from Malaysia and sighs a breath of relief when i said i was. She looked like she had just met her guardian angel.
I am not an angel. Far from it.
Throughout the lecture she kept on looking at me and spoke in malay, complaining how she couldnt understand and she didnt know how she was going to make it through the year, what more complete her masters by next year. I kept silent most of time (partly because i noticed how annoyed the lecturer looked when she caught people whispering while she was talking. NB: Do not piss off lecturer if want thesis to be passed this sem)
Finally, when she said "awak, kita tak boleh la cakap english. Kita taknak la"
"Boleh. Lama-lama biasa la tuh. Bila you selalu cakap, nanti you'll get used to it."
She smiled and kept silent the whole lecture onwards. I hope i did not offend her. It wasn't my intention to be rude. I had meant what i said. and i hope she will remember it.
I walked home somewhat reliefed. Not because i got her off my back. she was a very pleasent girl and extremely friendly. But i was glad that instead of brushing her off as one of the melayus, i honestly wanted to be friends with her. I can help remind her that its never wrong to say how and what you feel even if others might not fully understand you. Especially in the academic institution here, where students are encouraged to speak-up and learn. A great man in my life once told me if you don't ask because you think its stupid, then you'll never know if it really is. And perhaps.. if she doesn't mind, she can be an additional member to the weak bond i have here which reminds me of where i am from, who i am.. of home.
Maybe its in our nature, our culture, the way we were brought up that teaches us silence is golden.. diam-diam berisi.. but sometimes, its important for us to let our voice be heard. After all, we are here not to just simply learn from others, but also to let others learn from us. We are the youths of Malaysia, we represent her and her progress is embodied within our attitudes and presentation to others... cliche but im just itching to say it... Malaysia Boleh!
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