it's funny, this sanity

"somehow everything i own
smells like you"
 -snow patrol-

maybe its because every single day,
more than anything
i'm turning into you
be it nature
be it mind games i play on myself
i find everything i see, do or even taste... somehow reminds me of you
i hate this feeling, of missing.
i used to be so scared that time would make me forget, like somehow each passing day would peel pieces  of you from my memories... bit by bit .. till i have nothing left to remember you by.
but why did i ever doubt god's power?
nothing can ever erase the memory of blood.
and so for the millionth time
i let myself be weak
i break my promise to never show my desires
im missing you... again
but more than anything
i long for you to be here
again

no, it's not ok. i lost my mak. and it will always hurt.